“Anger is one letter short of danger.”-Eleanor Roosevelt
Since childhood, I use to hear from my mom that If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. But I never cared much about her words. And I also remember that she used to say, “someday you will remember my words”. It actually went true because I was remembering what my mom used to tell me.Life started well. I learned to read and write, started making friends and having fun. The best part of those moments was happiness. I was the worlds happiest person. Good grades, awards, people praising you who wouldn’t want those things. I got everything. It was the young me who was satisfied with all those things. Competitions didn’t matter those days. The young me was happy for every small thing. There were no regrets for having many crushes and losing them to other shit heads. Fights with friends and family were not a big issue. Yes, of course, I was happy until I started thinking.
I have a huge anger issue with many people and their thoughts and say everything they do. I also hate myself for many reasons. The young me changed into a mass of the angry ball. I didn’t realize I was the one with anger issues. The person whom I used to love, My parents also started hating me. I started having fights with my friends. Nobody was the same like before. The support and the love which I used to get were all gone. I was confused and full of hatred. I felt alone and most likely I was in my own world. I was worried about achievements and stuff.
I was my own doctor. I suggested I should stay away from the people who don’t understand me. Obviously, there was no one so I was alone on my own. I chose darkness as my strength. Staying awake till late night was a better option than working in daylight. Isolating myself was the best feeling after lots of effort. Days went on and I started feeling lonely. I went for a checkup and started taking sleeping tablets. I was able to sleep unconsciously with a clear mind. The next morning after waking up I felt sad for sleeping for a long time. I thought of quitting my medicine but I had no other options.
I did huge mistakes those days. I thought as the brain controls us but what about feelings and emotions. My brain was controlling me to do all kinds of stuff. The sadness and agony were meaningless. I started speaking to people. I learned how not to quit on yourself. I kept myself busy with works which makes me happy. I started realizing that the best medicine is the ease of your mind. If the thoughts are clear then everything was in control. Achievements matters until and unless you work hard for it. I never was angry at anyone. I just had a misconception that people are idiots. Their thoughts are shit. But I now knew that everyone has their own issues and saying for everything happening around us.
You can’t ever judge people by their looks. And the name was given by the world to them. Bin Laden, Ted Bundy, Alakaida these names are taken as a reference of bad name and fame. But who cares to know the story behind them. Yes, of course, they too were fed up with life and were not able to find their issues with their lives. I guess they were angry about something, something they could not get. Well, no one can blame them for that. So, What’s your issue with your life. No one is going to help you and always be ready to help yourself.
“We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one”-Tom Hiddleston
